Bowling vs Soccer

[Snaggletooth]

For anyone who watched todays game, please fill me in on how bowling can even hold a candle to soccer. No hot women, no athletic skill, no fun...yeah bowling sure is great

[panther-state]

For anyone who watched todays game, please fill me in on how bowling can even hold a candle to soccer. No hot women, no athletic skill, no fun...yeah bowling sure is great

I'm sure all of those girls participated on their highschool and college teams and are active in their local leagues

On a sidenote I think the parts of those women that we consider "hot" are mainly plastic/silicone for I don't think it should count towards the argument Find me a "hot" professional bowler and I'll eat crow...preferrably in a pie of some sort.

[Snaggletooth]

For anyone who watched todays game, please fill me in on how bowling can even hold a candle to soccer. No hot women, no athletic skill, no fun...yeah bowling sure is great

I'm sure all of those girls participated on their highschool and college teams and are active in their local leagues

Most people have bowled in their lives - why not these girls.

Find me a "hot" professional bowler and I'll eat crow...preferrably in a pie of some sort.

Hey, you said you wanted to see hot bowlers. There you go. The onus is on you to prove they are not "professional" - they look pretty professional to me.

Plus here is the typical women soccer player

[CaseyGarrisonforPrez]

I'd still prefer watching real athletes. Such as Hope Solo and Alex Morgan.

[panther-state]

I can tell you that at least two of them are "professionals" in the profession of not-having-clothes-on. Most people have ran in their life that doesn't make them professional runners. If we want to argue about which sport has the hotter, casual players then there is no way bowling wins because then it's taking on even fatter, uglier, more alone people than what I credited them with earlier. Fat people are smart enough to stay away from soccer and when I was in highschool it was a prerequisite for the varsity girls team that you be HOTT (except the goalie). Heck besides being a top 20 team in the nation is was the only reason I went to the games. Not as entertaining in that regard as volleyball but still pretty good. I dug up a picture of our bowling team and *vomit* Hope Solo trumps any bowler you can come up with and ALex Morgan is close behind.

[Snaggletooth]

Fat people are smart enough to stay away from soccer and when I was in highschool

I believe most of the athletes stay away from soccer in high school.

[panther-state]

Fat people are smart enough to stay away from soccer and when I was in highschool

I believe most of the athletes stay away from soccer in high school.

Haha okay Snaggletooth...NOBODY plays soccer. No athletes in the entire US play high school soccer and if they do they are completely unathletic and uncoordinated especially here in America...I mean that would explain why we never make the World Cup or do well in ANY international competitions. Man how did I miss that? Please don't be another Grillz, I beg you to be somewhat reasonable so I don't have to act like a sarcastic toolbag

I would say that most people stay away from the bowlers in high school. If you were spending your weekends with the bowlers at my school it was pretty safe to assume you were one notch below the band geeks and one notch above the flag-twirlers on the social heirarchy...

[Ferd Berfel]

Who is Hope Solo?


I think that this is Kyle Korver's mother...

[Ferd Berfel]

Haha okay Snaggletooth...NOBODY plays soccer. No athletes in the entire US play high school soccer and if they do they are completely unathletic and uncoordinated especially here in America...I mean that would explain why we never make the World Cup or do well in ANY international competitions. Man how did I miss that? Please don't be another Grillz, I beg you to be somewhat reasonable so I don't have to act like a sarcastic toolbag

That is correct no one plays soccer that is worth a darn at any other sport.

What a total embarrassment to your parents to go home and tell them that you made the soccer team.

If my kid did that I would tell him what a fine young man/girl they were and the next day when they were at school I would move the family with no forwarding address.

Soccer?

You have to be kidding me, here is a great list of why Soccer sucks and these are just a few.....

Why Soccer Sucks
The ever-growing list of reasons why soccer sucks.



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Soccer participants actually fellate one another.

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Soccer participants are walking advertisements.

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France is successful at participating at soccer. That should say something, especially to the British.

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The "World" Cup is not the a World's Cup, but a competition among 32 countries, disproportionately allotted to European countries.

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Soccer hooligans.

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Soccer is boring. Soccer is absurdly slow. I've had soccer apologists say with false pride how the average soccer participant "runs" 4 miles in a game. Newsflash: that means they are jogging less than 3 miles per hour. Translation: they are mostly standing around. BORING.

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Soccer participants act like they've been shot - what pussies. Meanwhile, real athletes like Donovan McNabb or Bobby Baun play on broken legs.

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Soccer is too simple an activity.

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Penalty kicks. You are determining a winner by a random event that has no relevance to the rest of the game. It would be as stupid as replacing extra innings with batting practice.

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Fruity penalty cards. How stupid is it to flash up some card to indicate the severity of a penalty? Richard Simmons was inspired to use them in his diet system. Are all penalties the same? Again, the inability to use the upper torso hampers soccer participants. Use hand signals, you troglodytes.

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Psychotic fans. The South Korean loser who set himself on fire is one example. The mental stability of the murderer who killed that one player because he sucked (free clue: all soccer participants suck) is another.

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Ties: 55% of games are ties. Ties suck.

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Why not use your hands? Or your brain?

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Soccer participants do not bathe.

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Soccer hairdos.

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Pompous pseudo-intellectual Europeans who become soccer fans in order to convince the populace of their link to the common man.

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Soccer participants with one name. I can understand why your parents would disown any soccer participant, but they should take at least any last name.

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Soccer hilites concentrate on what almost happens. When ESPN has the poor sense to show soccer hilites, they show missed shots, missed passes, etc. Any real sport shows things that actually contribute to the result. Soccer participants do not care about the result.

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Soccer fans justify the activity based entirely on its popularity. Not only are the reasons why soccer is popular an argument against soccer, but it really shows how pathetic said activity is when that is the only argument soccer fans come up with.
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The correct term for 0 is zero, not nil. Take a math class.

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Buy a freaking cup, you pansies.

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Soccer is not objective. There is no play clock. The game doesn't end after the clock has run down. This adds bias, subjectivism and appeals to lower intellects, and it destroys the drama from last second victories. Contrast such clumsy timekeeping (shame on the Swiss, who should know better) and the lack of any discernable strategy with the strategic precision of the two-minute drill in football.

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Soccer is not objective, part two. The lack of offensive chances leads to ties, which, as we know, suck. Soccer's "solution?" Let's randomize the result (in those cases where a tie suddenly becomes an affront, the "World" Cup) by having penalty kicks.

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Soccer participants on the same team have different jerseys. The obviously higher intelligence of hockey (goaltender) or football (offensive linemen) fans and referees is evident, since we don't need a different uniform to indicate a different privilege in the rule book.

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Soccer is Third World inexpensive. Ordinarily, this would not be a problem. Most people don't consider buying hockey or football equipment expensive in civilized countries, but in the context of the rest of the world, it is expensive. On the other hand, soccer is dirt cheap - and by dirt cheap, I mean slum kids in Brazil rolling up balls of dirt to kick around.

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Soccer apologists say the reason it is not popular in the US is because it wasn't invented in the US. First, soccer originated from the North American game called pasuckuakohowog several hundred years before the British played something resembling it. Second, basketball was the creation of a Canadian, yet is very popular in the US. Third, football was the creation of a Canadian, yet is very popular in the US.

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Soccer apologists say the reason it is not popular in the US is because the US is not any good at that activity. The US soccer team won the World Cup in 1991 and 1999. Better find another reason.

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Soccer apologists say soccer is an athletic activity. Using the Olympics as a barometer, it is pretty obvious that those countries that lack athletic prowess (Britain, France) are successful at soccer. Interesting to note, despite the inclusion of activities like soccer and walking in the Olympics (and the wrongful exclusion of football and rodeo), how those countries where soccer is not popular outperform those countries where soccer is popular athletically.

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Soccer apologists steal terms from real sports. Hint: a pitch is something an option QB does. A draw is a running play designed to counter a strong pass rush. Football is a real sport that involves athletes in pads and helmets, not sissies playing kickball.

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Soccer has no honor. There are codes of behavior in sports like hockey, baseball, football and basketball. There is no code of behavior in the activity of soccer: the penis biting should make this fairly obvious.

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Soccer markets to Nazis - even today. Umbro markets Zyklon, a type of shoe, to soccer participants. Zyklon was the name of the gas used to kill Jews in WWII.

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Soccer uses witch doctors. The same simplistic mentality that avails itself to soccer avails itself to primal mysticism.

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Soccer idiots overexaggerate everything. Yeah, soccer deserves a Nobel Prize. Better load up on the security for that award presentation, because soccer deserves it less than terrorists like Arafat. Yeah, a soccer game is a wondrous event in your nation's history. Granted, these nations still have to master indoor plumbing, but please - stop the hallucinogenics, now.

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Soccer fans actually set themselves on fire. That's a pretty good barometer judging the mentality of soccer fans.

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Soccer cheering has no point. Football fans successfully cause opposing teams' offenses to call timeouts, use up the play clock, screw up audibles or cause procedure penalties. Ask Burt Hooton whether baseball fans affect an opponent's performance. Soccer? They sing songs - which all sound the same - regardless of outcome. It doesn't celebrate performance. It doesn't serve to intimidate. It has no purpose.

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Soccer counts time up. Soccer games count the time that has elapsed, rather than the time remaining. This is stupid for a number of reasons. First, soccer games don't refer to time anyway, so why even keep it? Second, why the concern on the past? The score already reflects all important information of what has already happened in the game. In soccer, this is most likely irrelevant anyway, since the score is most likely 0-0, er, nil, nil. The focus should be on the result - which depends on the future. Thus, time should count down. Can you imagine NASA counting up (from, say, when JFK made his speech about landing on the moon in a decade)? How stupid would that be?

"Soccer is like needing to get a boil lanced on your anal sphincter but the doctor tells you that you are allergic to the anesthetic. You'll do anything just to get it over."

[panther-state]

Damn, then I feel REALLY bad for bowlers if actual athletes like soccer players have it so bad...thank you for that illuminating list of completely unbigoted, open-minded facts